KASIA RADZKA

Romantic Suspense and Thriller Author

About / Blog / Books / Resources / Wine-Stained Pages

Are You a Liar? The Fallacies We Tell Ourselves

by | Jan 3, 2020 | Writing

I’m a writer therefore I lie.

Fiction is a mixture of truth and lies boiling in a cauldron of words, sentences and paragraphs.

I tell myself fallacies every day. Great ones, little ones, crazy ones.

Even when I’m not writing fiction.

The brain is an incredible organ. It’s capable of insane feats. We don’t even know the half of its capabilities. It controls us even when we try to control it.

fallacies we tell ourselves

The fallacies we tell ourselves often cause the greatest damage.

We assume the worst. Then we have conversations in our head that will never actually play out. We imagine things based on our preconceptions.

There are also the fallacies that are good for us. The optimism that the future is certainly bright – it is but we can’t guarantee it. Most people believe they are better than average. The truth is that most of us are just that – average. Did you know that you are the average of the five people you spend time with?

As writers we tell ourselves lies every day.

  • I will write 1000 words every day without fail.
  • I’ll send out 30 queries every week.
  • The book only needs a read through.
  • I’ll do a better design than the professional cover designer.
  • The blog will make $2000 a month within six months.
  • I’ve been eating super healthy the last few days.
  • I’ll exercise when I get home from work

Do any of them sound familiar?

Fallacies. Not all of the time but certainly a lot of the time.

A common fallacy, and I think this is prevalent in creatives, is that we are not good enough. Not good enough to be published, not good enough to be read, not good enough to be successful, not good enough to achieve our wildest dreams.

What sets us apart from the people going out and getting what they want?

It’s the fallacy we keep telling ourselves.

When does it start? How does it form? Why in the world do we let it take over our thoughts?

You are good enough. We are all good enough to follow our dreams and be successful. Not all of us will. That is life.

But it starts with you. It starts with me. It starts with us.

We decide when we no longer want to listen to the fallacies.

Only then can we start making positive changes. That’s when we can start moving forward believing that, yes, we are good enough, yes we too can be successful, yes, the road may be tough but we can get through it.

Why do we tell fallacies to ourselves?

Often we lie to make ourselves feel better. We search for reasons for our self imposed inadequacies or the feelings of gloom that at times possess us.

Sometimes we just feel bad because we feel bad.

There’s no reason for it.

I’ve gotten out of bed after a perfectly good night sleep and felt like crap. Like it was me against the world. I got over it after a run.

Still there was no reason for feeling bad. It was simply one of those days.

I could have delved deeper and came up with reasons for feeling like shit, maybe it was because someone said something that hurt last week, or I didn’t give the driver way the day before because I was in a hurry, or maybe I forgot to write the thank you note to a colleague for something they’d probably already forgotten about.

They’d all be fallacies.

Related: Fill Up Your Well of Ideas Anywhere, Anytime

The biggest fallacy writers believe is:

If I had more time in my day, I’d get that book finished.

BULLSHIT.

If you really want to do something, whether that’s write and publish a book, lose 50kg, get a six pack, start a business, travel the world, change your career, get a dog, learn a second language, be happy, you will find a way to do it.

The more time you have on your hands, the less likely you’re going to fill it with what you’re supposed to be doing.

We need to stop lying to ourselves by saying we need to wait for the right time, the right job, the right season, the right partner, the right day of the year. We don’t.

All you need is you, all you need is to start today.

The fallacies we tell ourselves are part of life. They aren’t going to stop. Some days they will be positive other days negative. As long as we can recognise them and not allow them to take over our lives then we’re all good. At least that’s what I like to tell myself.

What fallacies are you inclined to tell yourself? Does it help or hinder your writing?

Related Posts

10 Key Insights for Authors from the Romance Writers of Australia 2024 Conference

I've had to narrow down the key insights from the Romance Writers of Australia Conference 2024, otherwise this post would have never ended. Firstly, I never imagined myself attending a conference of this sort. I wasn't a romance writer. I didn't do soppy or small town...

8 Lessons Learnt from Writing ‘A Vineyard for Two’

Writing 'A Vineyard for Two' was stepping outside my comfort zone. While I love watching a good romance movie (give those corny and predictable Hallmark ones or Christmas specials any day), a friend and I meet up every month or two and spend Friday night drinking wine...

ChatGPT: Friend or Foe for the Creative?

I used Chat GPT for the first time today. Yeah, I know, a bit behind the eight-ball. I've been hesitant to say the least. AI scares me. The dangers, the uncertain future, the horror sci-fi scenarios where AI takes over. Okay, yes, these are worst-case/doomsday...

0 Comments

0 Comments