Romantic Suspense and Thriller Author
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Book 3 (a novella) in the Lexi Ryder Crime Thriller series is now available on Amazon. You can buy it here!
Lies. Truth. Deception.
Lexi Ryder doesn’t know who she can trust. Still searching for a killer that refuses to be found; a man protected by those closest to her.
Will Lexi’s curiosity get her in more trouble than it’s worth?
One wrong move and a life will end. One decision will change Lexi’s life forever.
I’ve been thinking about judgement a lot lately. Society is a judgmental bunch. We judge people, including ourselves, on a daily basis without any consideration to the pain, discomfort and negativity we are creating.
From the clothes people wear, to the jobs they have, to what they’ve eaten for breakfast or whether they spank their kids, to what books they enjoy reading, or friends they keep. We’re a judgmental sort and it sucks but it’s here to stay.
Everyone judges in one way or another. The difference is how we react to our own judgments and the judgement of others. Studies have shown that our own judgements of others reflect who we really are and that’s both a frightening and comforting revelation at the same time. If you’re in a good mood, you tend to judge others more positively. Having a shitty day? Watch out because some nasty thoughts are just around the corner.
So what does that have to do with writing?
Glad you asked!
Us writers, put our words out into the world hoping readers will love our work. In a perfect world everyone would love everything but that would be boring and it would get tiring. We are born with different tastes, likes, dislikes, preferences. These differences corner us into our judgmental natures without us really being conscious of what we’re doing. That’s natural. Fucked up, but natural.
As a writer not everyone is going to like what you write. As a person, not everyone is going to like you. Do you like everyone you meet? Every book you read? Movie you watch? Clothing you see in the store?
Unlikely.
Or are you one of those annoying people who claim to just loooovvvvee everything?
Our likes and dislikes add to our three dimensional existence. I don’t like celery much. Does that make celery bad? No, just not to my liking. Does celery stop selling because I don’t like it? No, there are millions of others who enjoy it or tolerate it and it stays comfortable in the fresh food aisle of the supermarket for the supports of adding it to everything from salads to stir fries (cringe as I write this). Ok, so a ridiculously stupid example but I assume you get the drift.
Simple.
Get over it.
You don’t need everyone to like you, nor do you need everyone to like your words. Do you think everyone loves EL James – um, no they don’t. But it doesn’t matter because just as many, if not more, love her. How about Oprah Winfrey? She’s an amazing human being, a powerful woman who has achieved so much against many odds. Is the world her fan? Well, sort of. But no, she’s got lovers and haters. It’s inevitable in any industry, even the industry of life.
You are never ever going to please everyone you come in contact with whether directly or indirectly. It’s ridiculous to even bother trying. The harder you aim for perfection, the worse you’re going to feel.
Someone is always going to speak negatively about you, your actions, your words, your behaviour. It’s human nature. You know yin and yang, love and hate, black and white, two sides of one coin. Stop trying to change what isn’t within the realms of your control.
So why do we continue aiming for perfection when it doesn’t exist?
Perfection is a blocker. It stops us from getting what we want and studies have shown that it can lead to debilitating health issues including anxiety and depression.
Writer’s block? Maybe you’re trying to impress a too wide audience. Impress yourself first. Then consider your ideal audience. Even then, not all are going to like what you bring to the market. They don’t have too. Are you happy with what you’ve produced? Is it marketable? Is a fraction of your audience going to love it? Then you’re done. Move on.
This doesn’t just relate to writing. It can be applied to most businesses or goals you might have. Aim for perfect and you’ll just burn out, drive yourself nuts, or never achieve your dreams. Perfection may seem attainable but it can more often than not be disastrous.
Remember, you can always improve with time. No one started out with a perfect product or service. Neither will you because perfection isn’t real.
At some point in your career, in your life, in your writing, a nasty person will come along and tell you that you suck. It’s their opinion. They’re entitled to it. Just as you’re entitled to smile, politely say thank you and bid them a good day, even if you think what you’ve created or provided is perfect.
What matters more is how you handle these judgements. Are you going to brush them off? Or are you going to let them get in the way of following your wildest dreams?
The choice is yours.
I’ve been letting people’s judgements, including my own, get in the way of what I want to do, who I want to be, where I want to go. I’ve wasted so many years of my life worrying about what people will think that’s it’s paralysed me and prevented me from being where I want to be. The only person I have to blame is myself.
When you start getting haters in any industry it often means that you’re succeeding. It’s a weird thought that took me a while to get my head around but it’s true. The more successful you are in what you do, the more people you come in contact with. That variety of individuals will include your supporters and your opposers. Which ones are you going to listen to?
The only time you should worry about the haters is if you’re doing something wrong. Are you hurting someone? Are you being nasty? Defamatory? Rude? Obnoxious? Chauvinistic? Then take note and consider a self-improvement course. Otherwise just shake it off.
Admitting to stuffing up is hard. No one likes doing it. But if you do, it’ll make you feel better.
I burned out and stuffed up.
I’m not happy about it. Nor am I proud. But I want to let you know that it happens to anyone and everyone at some point. Even machines get to breaking point so don’t let it get you down. If it does, own it and get right back up again.
April was a write off. I didn’t really feel like writing or pitching or doing anything of value for that matter. Everything I did do seemed like shit. It happens. More than some like to admit.
The worst thing was I didn’t respond to emails and that’s a big ‘no-no’ when you’re trying to get a business up and running. I simply didn’t know what to say and putting the words down felt like torture.
I burned out, and it felt like shit.
Burn out is going to happen. It’s the result on taking on too much too quickly, too often.
I have a habit of doing that…every day.
Am I ever going to learn?
Probably not. Doing too much is part of my personality. I want to be constantly achieving and striving for something bigger, higher, better. I don’t see that changing, ever
What I have realised that from time to time I need a break. A holiday. A few days of respite to recharge the batteries and get back to work quicker.
A short break can mean the difference between three days off or three weeks. I prefer to control my days off (go figure, I’m a control freak, duh!), and by controlling them I can figure out when I need it most and schedule it into my calendar to suit my needs.
So next week I’m going away for a holiday. The lap top is going with me but I have zero expectations of turning it on. I’m taking each day as it comes and hoping to simply do a lot of walking, running, swimming, kayaking, jet-skiing, reading by the pool and building sandcastles with my son.
The three days before I go on holiday are going to be crazy. I”m scheduling two weeks worth of blog posts, sending out thirty pitches and publishing my third novel. Like I said I suffer from overachiever syndrome.
When you work for yourself, whether it’s full time or part time, it’s important to schedule off time. It may seem ridiculous but if you don’t pencil it into your diary, it’s likely that you’re going to work through it and before you know it you’re burning out. It’s like when you’re on a weight-loss plan and you’ve reached a plateau and need to change things up to keep improving. The same thing is with writing, running a business, or working nine to five.
I think it’s particularly important to have a breather after a big project or a hectic few days. If you know you’re going to be under pressure make sure to schedule a ‘recharge my batteries’ day or weekend or even week if necessary. You’ll feel better for it and when you get back to work you’re going to find you are more creative and productive.
Take fifteen minutes per day.
One day per week.
A weekend per month.
A week a quarter.
Two weeks a year.
You will be better for it. Saner, calmer, happier. Your business will thank you too.
Once upon a time writers suffered for their words. Being a writer was a romantic notion not a career path one would choose to get rich or even support a family. When there’s publications paying less than a cent a word, or content mills trying to steal your talent at $3 for 500 words it’s very easy to get discouraged. But worry no more. Now you can get paid to write.
The internet has changed everything about writing for better and for worse. Competition is fierce because everyone wants to be a writer. It’s that romantic notion of living a location independent lifestyle penning stories from your experiences and getting paid for them. Sounds lovely, sign me up.
The market has opened up but so has the competition. So while there’s a lot more writing opportunities available for writers, there are no borders, which means the competition is fierce and it’s global.
Unless you stop thinking about it as competition and consider it a community.
Websites require constant content to keep up with the need for information. We’re a society of consumers, and as the world catches up with their own technologies, markets catch up, they expand and they evolve. Website owners realise their contributors need to get paid to write in order to continuously provide quality content.
There is room for everyone to have a go. And it’s fantastic. It means you can make a living being a writer from the comfort of your own home, a hotel room in Barbados, or as you stop for a break whilst running the Great Wall of China. You get the drift – anywhere, anytime.
Blogger, freelance writer, copywriter, author. The choice is yours. Within those you can narrow down to your own niche, or generalise. You are the master of your future.
I’m excited!
I’m sure you do. I know I do. So here you are, 22 online markets that pay writers and a few that don’t for their awesome words!
The Dollar Stretcher – The Dollar Stretcher has been around for years and has a wealth of information on personal finance that help you stretch your dollar. Check out their writer’s guidelines here.
The Penny Hoarder – Another successful and long-time personal finance market that pays their writers. Go through their archives to ensure you’re not pitching something that has already been written about. Check out their writer’s guidelines here.
Savvy Scot – Personal finance, health & fitness and motivation under one roof. Check out their writer’s guidelines here.
Wisebread – Wanna regular personal finance writing gig? Check out the writer’s guidelines here.
Matador Network – The place to find out about all your travel needs in a non-conventional way. Your writing needs to not only entertain and inform but your stories need to have more than just 6 Sweet Things To Do In Memphis type. Check out their writer’s guidelines here.
Transitions Abroad – For those who want to live, work, and study abroad, Transitions Abroad is packed with useful and practical information. Check out their writer’s guidelines here.
Budget Travel – Do you love travel? Can you offer some budget travel tricks? Why not check out out the writer’s guidelines for Budget Travel.
BootsnAll – They like to build relationships with their writers. Read their Indie Travel Manifesto to see if you’re a good fit. For writer’s guidelines click here.
Vibrant Life – Payment ranges from $100 – $300
Experience Life
MindBodyGreen – They don’t pay but they do have a wide readership.
Spirituality & Health
Eating Well – pays from $1 per word
Mother Earth Living – will discuss rates once article assigned.
Parents
Parent.co.
Scary Mommy
Mamamia
BrainChild
A Fine Parent
Horkey Handbook – For writers, on writers, Horkey Handbook helps writers realise their freelancing dreams. Gina’s managed to build an impressive business over the past two years and she offers guest posts at $75 a pop. Check out the writers guidelines here.
Make A Living Writing – This is the writer’s website for all things about making money writing. Carol Tice is the ‘make money writing’ guru. Check out the writer’s guidelines here.
WoW: Women on Writing – Aimed at women writers about women and writing. From writing tips to writer interviews, there’s something for everyone. Check out the writer’s guidelines here.
The Write Life – Lots of useful and functional information for your freelance writing career. They don’t always pay but if you want to break into the writing niche it might be worth pitching an idea. Check out their writer’s guidelines here.
FreelancersFAQ – All the questions you ever wanted answered and more. Think of a question that hasn’t been answered here, why not pitch it as an article. No payment but you can link back to your site from your bio. Check out the writer’s guidelines here.
Have you written for any of these markets? Were they easy to deal with? Did you get paid on time? Would you write for them again?
A few weeks ago I signed up for the Gold Coast Half Marathon. I’ve run a couple times before. I’ve even finished the full marathon twice. Given that since becoming a mum my running has been sporadic at best, I figured the half marathon was going to be the ideal distance to get back into the swing of things.
Like some people love chocolate cake, sitting down to watch their favourite tv series, baking, spending time with their family, or travelling; I love running.
I’d like to do it more often but for now 3-4 times per week for 30-60 minutes will have to suffice. Fortunately, it’s enough to train up to run and finish a 21.1km race.
The initial plan was to run and just finish without worrying about the time however given that I am extremely competitive with myself, I want to do more than just finish the half marathon. I want to finish it within a time limit that is good for me.
My personal best in a half marathon is 1:48:48. Ideally, I’d love to beat that time, even by a second, but this time around it’s not a realistic goal, although I will jump for joy should it happen accidentally!
Last week I did the Mother’s Day Classic. It’s a fun run/charity walk to raise funds for the Breast Cancer Foundation. This was my first year entering and I opted for the 8km run. Out of 487 females, I came in 44th with a time of 40:47 and an average pace of 5:05 per kilometre.
I was expecting to run it by about five minutes slower so I was ecstatic with that result. If I were to maintain that pace for the entire 21.1km, I would run it in 1:46:55. That would be awesome!
That’s what happens when you love running and you run in a group. Your pace increases and you can achieve more. That’s how it works with writing too. When you join a community, talk with likeminded individuals, take chances, ask questions, and support each other, you can achieve incredible results.
The more you push yourself with style and technique, the different genres you try, structure, point of view, and length of projects you allow yourself to grow and improve.
And that’s the point, isn’t it? We should be aspiring to improve whether it’d be running more often or writing better books.
Writing is a sedentary activity. Unless you have a stand up treadmill desk (anyone have one of those?) or you work standing up, you’re sitting on your backside most of the time. That’s not good for your butt, your back, your internal organs, or even your sanity.
You need to find time to exercise to give your body a break from all the sitting down.
Our bodies were not created to sit still for extended periods of time and yet so many of us sit in our day jobs and then repeat it when we get home and plonk ourselves down in front of the television. We’re not doing our health any favours.
Running is great because you can do it anywhere and at anytime. I love living on the Gold Coast because it’s sunny and mostly warm all year round, although right now it’s just turned 6am and I’m sitting in a cafe across from the beach al fresco style watching the sun rise and feeling the chill in my bones. It is the end of autumn after all so I shouldn’t be surprised!
Running and writing is all about endurance. It’s not about doing it once and then moving onto the next activity. It means showing up every day whether it’d be for twenty minutes or two hours. It doesn’t matter whether you go fast or slow, it’s about consistency.
Just like anyone can be a writer, anyone can be a runner too. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, how much you weigh, or what you do for a living. If you want to you can run.
Running can change your life.
If you start running not everyone will understand your passion for it. They don’t have to. As long as it makes you happy, that’s all that matters.
You don’t have to have ever run to become a runner. There was a time where I got puffed running 100m. Now I can run 42.2km. There was a time I didn’t think I’d publish a book, this month I’ve got my third one coming out.
If you’ve been interested in running why not get started by signing up for a 5km fun run. Five kilometres is doable and you can train up for it in as little as 6 weeks. It’s also enough to tell you whether running is an activity you enjoy doing. No point in going further if you hate every minute of it!
Walking 5km at a pace of 7km/hr and you will be done in 35 minutes. Dedicate 30 minutes, three times per week to training for the race and you’ll probably do it a lot quicker but it’s not about the time, it’s about crossing the finish line and proving to yourself that you can do it.
Want to run it? Next time you’re out walking why not alternate between walking and running for half an hour. First time around just start with a one minute jog for every five minutes you walk. The second week aim for a four minute walk to a two minute jog, the third week try 3:3, the four weeks 2:4, the fifth week 1:5 and by the sixth week you’ll be running non-stop.
It’s that simple.
Running is not the only physical activity you have to do. In fact you don’t have to do it at all if you don’t like it and not everyone will. There’s swimming, cycling, yoga, weight training, tennis or simply walking.
Maybe you prefer team sports? Why not join a basketball or football team.
It doesn’t matter what physical activity you do, as long as you do something.
I’ve found that if I fit a run in between my day job and evening writing ritual I get to my desk in the evening feeling more refreshed and can write for longer. A run, or any physical activity, helps clear the mind and boost energy for the next activity.
The benefits of any form of exercise are tenfold. Here are just some according to Centers for Disease Control And Prevention (CDC):
* Improve circulation
* Prevent cardiovascular disease
* Maintain a healthy weight range
* Reduce stress
* Increase happiness
* Live longer
Next time you’re feeling stuck on a scene in your novel, having trouble finishing an article or blog post, or feeling a drought on idea generation coming up, put on some active wear and get moving. Go for a run, a swim, cycle, do some weights or put on a yoga video on YouTube. Do something active for 30-45 minutes and you might be surprised to find that when you return to your project you’ll find it easier to finish.
How do you stay fit as a writer? Is this a priority for you?