KASIA RADZKA

Why You Will Never Be Successful And What You Can Do About It

by Kasia | Apr 1, 2016 | Business, Writing

You will never be successful. Most people won’t, not in the way that they dream of anyway. Success is a result that comes from the daily choices we make. Hard to believe but what you did yesterday does have an impact on how someone reacts to you today.

I’d love to tell you I’m kidding and it’s just an April Fool’s Day joke but the truth is you’re probably not willing to go the extra mile to get somewhere in life. You’re stuck in your little comfort zone fooling yourself that it’s exactly what you want when deep inside you’re wondering why everyone else is creating their own success doing what they love while you’re stuck in the background torturing yourself with groundhog day.

Success isn’t rocket science. It’s a combination of talent, luck and hard work – not necessarily in that order.

I’d break it down to 98%hard work, 1% talent, followed by 1% luck. In that order.

Work hard —> Develop a talent —> Attract luck

The thing is my friends, talent and luck seem to follow hard work around like a hungry dog follows a bone.

Does that mean every one who works hard is going to be successful?

Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s a little bit more involved than that.

Let’s say a mechanic who goes to work at five am and comes home at six pm. He works 12-13 hour days, fixing cars and working hard. Day in, day out. Yet, at the end of the month, he doesn’t bring in any money. Whatever he did he either spent on materials, bills or miscellaneous crap.

Is he successful?

Depends which perspective you look at. Sure, he’s successful in that he doest a great job fixing cars. But he’s not successful when it comes to having a business that supports his family. He’s working twelve hour days for nothing. Unless, that scenario is his own definition of success.

So, before you start working your butt off doing anything and everything, it’s best that you figure out your own definition of success so that you can draw out a path and stop wasting time.

I’ve wasted years working hard in every job that I take. I despise slacking off. If you have a job to do, you do it at the best of your ability, then you can go home. Sure have a two minute chat with the coworker, check your Twitter followers, post a photo on Instagram, but goddam it just do the work.

I work hard in my day job. I sit behind a desk and I churn out the work. I have good days and bad days but I work hard. That doesn’t mean I necessarily work smart though.

I’ve always known that success requires relationships. You cannot be a success without other people around you, no matter what you think. They are either your cheerleaders, your mentors, your clients or your peers. You need quality relationships to be successful.

Over the years, I neglected building relationships. My confidence deteriorated and I felt like I couldn’t connect with people; that people didn’t like me. The problem wasn’t them. The issue was that I didn’t like myself and that reflected on how people looked at me.

Relationship building is still hard for me. I’m an introvert. I like my solo time. But as I get older I realise that I enjoy socialising too. While I couldn’t be one of those people with an event on every single weekend, I do like to see friends, meet new people, and I’ll try anything once.

One important lesson I’ve learnt is that success requires you to step out of your comfort zone. Not just once, but every single day. You need to move past your irrational fears. You need to develop confidence (even if you’re faking it at first), and you need to challenge yourself.

Success equals hard work. But it also requires smart work. Nothing worth having ever came easy, and the longer you expect it too, the less likely you are to become successful.

Ask anyone who’s running a multimillion dollar business, become a bestseller, won a marathon, finished an Ironman, or travelled the world. None of these things would have been possible without the hard work that came before it.

Not everyone is talented, not everyone is lucky. These two things are not within our control so why worry about them?

Hard work on the other hand is within our control. We make the choice to slack off or to work hard. Sooner or later, talent will follow, and luck won’t be far behind.

I’ve realised that there is no one definition of success, not for you and not for me. We are three dimensional and so are our dreams. We need to consider the big picture but also concentrate on the day to day things that may seem trite or boring and refine our definition on a yearly basis.

My big picture of success is to have a location independent lifestyle earning high six figures after tax from my writing, owning several investment properties, my own big house, and spending three months of the year travelling with my family.

That’s not going to happen over night.

It will require me to get out of my comfort zone, expand my boundaries, take risks, and push myself to the outer limits of what I think I’m capable of. I’m capable of anything I set my mind to, and so are you.

Humans are smart creatures. We’re adaptable. We might not like change but we adapt and move on. The ability to learn is an extraordinary one because you can reinvent yourself on a regular basis.

If I had focused on the little things when I first started dreaming then I’d probably be almost there. I’d have that success but instead I’m in my early thirties and wondering what happened to the past ten years.

The good news is that it’s never too late to get started.

And so last year I started looking at success differently. I’m different today to the person I’ll be in a few years. My comfort levels are going to change too. The bar needs to be set higher. That means my definition of success will change too, so I have to refine it on a yearly basis.

In 2015, success was finishing my first novel and publishing it. That was an enormous success for me. It was the year of purchasing a block of land that we want to build our family home on. That’s two things to bring me closer to the big picture goal.

In 2016, success is changing jobs and earning more money, spending more time with my family, writing and publishing 3 books and 3 novellas, building our family home, and spending a week in Fiji and another in Hawaii. It’s March, I have changed positions at work which I’m happy about, I’m spending time with my family on a regular basis, I’ve published one novella, I’ve drafted two novels and am preparing another novella for publication, I’m also in talks with builders about starting on the construction of our own home. Getting all these things done will make 2016 a successful one. That’s my definition for the year,. What’s yours?

In 2017, I’ll refine my definition of success to wherever I’m at around Christmas time.

It’s easy to set goals and have dreams but much harder to attain them. Success varies from person to person, year to year. We’re all here on a journey and sometimes we lose focus of that journey by focusing too much on the destination.

If you ask me what I plan on doing once I reach that location independent lifestyle, well, I’ll probably keep writing, keep spending time with the family, and refine my defintion of success.

Take a moment to think about how you define your success. Consider the big picture. Let yourself dream big. What do you really imagine to be successful?

Great. Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

What will make 2016 a successful year for you? Are you willing to step outside your comfort zone to achieve it? How are you going to challenge yourself today, this week, this month to be successful and live your dream?