by Kasia | Jul 14, 2016 | Blogging, Motivation
Ever been in a funk that you can’t get out of? You know, one of those days where you feel like nothing matters, the world is falling apart around you, and all you want to do is crawl into a dark hole and disappear for a day, a week, a month, forever?
Generally, the feeling doesn’t last too long but when it does, it’s hard not to wonder whether something sinister is at bay. Depression and anxiety are all too common in today’s society and the growing number of individuals on pills is a concern.
But I’m not here to get you down any further. In most cases there is something you can do, as it’s only you who’s in control of your emotions. It’s easy to lay the blame elsewhere but that’s not going to make you feel any better, at least not in the long term.
It’s ok to feel like shit sometimes.
No one is ever 100% happy, 100% of the time.
Humans do not work that way. We have numerous emotions that we go through in a certain day. Expecting to be constantly chirpy and happy and grateful is just asking the impossible.
You’re allowed to feel like crap.
We have good days and we have bad days. It’s unfortunate that society doesn’t let us experience our bad days as much as it praises our good days.
We constantly hear and see people’s successes, big and small, but rarely do they advertise their failures. It’s tough. Social media has made it even tougher.
We have become celebrities in our little worlds. Self-obsessed, craving for Facebook likes and Instagram follows. We don’t want to miss out on all the wonderful things out there.
But life doesn’t work that day.
Even the supermodel bestie posting cocktail hour in Tahiti has her bad days. You’re just seeing one of the good ones. But she’s not saying how she probably won’t drink it because of the calories. Or that she’s flown economy with a bratty-kicking toddler in the seat behind her. Or that her parents separated when she was a kid and she was teased at school for being lanky. Or the fact that she hates herself for something she did a decade ago. Or maybe she does have it all perfectly sorted. Either way, it ain’t any of your business.
We don’t see the background. We don’t see the bottom of the iceberg. We don’t see the full picture of anyone these days. All we get are tidbits, the pieces that people want you to see, and that’s generally showing a biased perspective.
Life’s a journey that sometimes gets hit with a tornado. You go through elation to depression to a happy medium. And while that might seem like you’re bipolar (please see your doctor if you’re worried about your moods), if these are just fleeting moments you’re going to be ok.
We all get shit days where the only thing that sounds appealing is getting into your comfiest yoga pants and jumper, wrapping yourself up in a blanket, and putting reruns of Revenge while you eat a block of dark chocolate and drink a bottle of shiraz (hey antioxidants anyone!).
You’re allowed to take a day off from trying to lead a perfect life. There’s no such thing anyway. And the harder you try to attain it, the more unhappy you’ll become.
Enjoy the good, embrace the bad. Live the life that you want and forget about everything else. There’s no right or wrong way if you follow your own path. Embrace what’s yours and realise that even amongst the shit, you can find your happiness.
Or become a writer.
Writing is therapeutic. You don’t even need to show your words to anyone. Just write and delete if need be. Or print the written pages and burn them for dramatic impact. You might surprise yourself and discover a hidden writing talent within. Maybe you’ll enjoy sharing your words with others and start a blog. Maybe you’ll do it all, or do nothing at all.
Writing is a healthy form of expression. The information age has allowed anyone with internet access to have a voice. But who’s going to hear you? It all comes down to how far your reach can go, and in an era where the world wide web is everywhere, your reach is infinite.
But if you write publicly be prepared to be ridiculed and abused. It’s bound to happen sooner or later. You’ll get upset. It’s inevitable. It’s also fine. Be upset, take a few breathes and a moment to recollect your thoughts. Move on. Don’t let trolls deter you from achieving your goals nor should you let them make you feel like shit.
But not all writing has to be made public. Sometimes a moment of journaling and reflection can shift your perspective. You don’t have to bare your soul, just hit delete. You’ll feel better either way.
Let writing help you get out of the funk. It’ll help you shift gears and accelerate your personal and professional growth.
In the end you are going to feel like shit sometimes. Others will make you feel that way too.
Feel it, move on. Even that shall pass.
The worst thing you can do is take out your funk publicly. You might want to blog about it, vent on social media, or argue your point in the comments thread but in the end you’re not doing yourself any favours other than adding fuel to the fire and one day it could come back to bite you on the backside.
How do you deal with your tough days? Have you ever used writing to help you get through tough times?
by Kasia | Jun 3, 2016 | Blogging, Business, Motivation
I’m an overachiever by nature. Taking a break to put my feet up is not something I can do for prolonged periods of time (unless it involves my laptop or a good book in front of me, of course!). My brain and my body needs to be working constantly.
This is not healthy. Nor is it beneficial for long-term productivity.
Australians are quite lucky that they receive four weeks of holidays per year. Unfortunately, not everyone uses them. Then, they burn out. Go crazy. Get divorced. Lose their jobs. Have a midlife crisis. Waste opportunities.
If you want to be successful and stay in the game, you need to schedule a break.
Aim for a few minutes per day. One day per week. A weekend a month. One week per quarter. Two weeks per year. You’ll feel better for it and you’ll get so much more done.
Everyone has a different definition as to what constitutes a break. Find yours and stick to it.
7 Benefits of Taking a Break for Your Mind & Body
- Taking a short break throughout the day can boost your overall productivity. Next time you’re thinking about skipping lunch, reconsider. Even a 15 minute walk at lunchtime can boost your afternoon output.
- Regular holidays, even if it’s a weekend getaway, can boost your immunity which means less time spent trying to ward off colds and other ailments. Book yourself into a hotel or a bed & breakfast for the weekend and enjoy a change of scenery.
- Want to be happier? If you find yourself constantly working and can’t remember the last time you took some time out to rest and recharge your batteries, you might be unintentionally increasing your risk of depression and becoming a negative party-pooper. A holiday away from home, especially, if it involves sunshine and the outdoors can lift your mood, expose you to some much needed Vitamin D, and put a smile on your face.
- A change in your environment can be enough to improve your health. When we’re consumed by our jobs and daily responsibilities, it’s easy to fall into a rut. A quick break away from home and the office will get you out of your comfort zone and shift your perspective and that is awesome for both your physical and mental well-being.
- Studies have shown that if you’re feeling a bit down – consider SAD (seasonal affective disorder) – during the winter months, evoking memories from your holidays can lift your spirits. So, create some happy memories!ook a holiday to somewhere you’ve never been whether it’s local or overseas.
- A break, whether it be two days or two weeks, gives you an opportunity to step away from stress. We put way too much stress on ourselves to perform in every area of our lives. It’s not possible to be superman or superwoman. Give yourself a break and allow a holiday to help you forget about the day-to-day grind and everything that’s driving you up the wall. While some stress is beneficial to keep us motivated and performing, it’s the bad stress that causes our hair to go grey and leads to heart attacks that we want to avoid. A holiday can make all the difference to your health physically and mentally.
- Burn out. We all want to avoid it. It’s one of the worst things for productivity and success in life and in business. When we burn out, we stop functioning at an optimum level. It usually means that we’ve been pushing ourselves too much for too long. Schedule in that break and you’ll reduce your risk of burning out. You know how your mind and body functions so you should know when you’re at risk of losing your shit because you work too hard. Add a regular holiday into your calendar or even a day spent at the beach or walking through the forest and you’ll get a quick recharge to keep going without burning out.
A regular break is what the doctor ordered. Stay healthy, improve your productivity, boost your creativity, expand your horizons and open yourself up to new opportunities by taking time out to do something that’s fun, enjoyable and takes you out of your comfort zone.
I may have just returned from an overseas holiday, but I’m already organising the next one in three months time and another for the end of the year. It’s all about balance and if you work hard you need to schedule in some play time.
I TOOK A BREAK AND SURVIVED!
One week in Fiji was bliss. I loved it. Fiji is my new favourite family holiday destination. I can’t wait to go back.
Fijians love kids so getting a nanny and putting our darling into kids’ club most afternoons was a no-brainer. He loved it, we loved it, and everyone was happy.
Did you know that there are no venomous land snakes or spiders in Fiji? I didn’t either but found this a relief considering Australia seems to have them all! The only ones to worry about are those in the sea, but you’re unlikely to come across them anyway.
And the people, OMG, everyone is just so friendly and nice and saying ‘Bula’ ten times a day. It was the ideal spot for the family to relax, unwind and enjoy a few cocktails by the seafront.
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Somewhere in the South Pacific
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A bit of hot Fijian entertainment.
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What better way to recharge the batteries?
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The holiday begins. Plane necessities.
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So relaxing and feeling very small in the big ocean!
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Pretending to get some writing done.
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New fave! Bloody Mary nice and spicy!
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Beautiful ocean sunsets. At home the sun rises from the ocean side, it was nice to see it set that way.
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Resting includes fun runs! I came 3rd female & 8th overall in the Pacific Fitness 5km Fun Run in Fiji. Stoked! That ain’t going to happen again!
Do you take regular breaks? Do you see the benefits of taking a holiday out of your comfort zone? How do you like to relax and recharge your batteries?
by Kasia | Feb 20, 2016 | Motivation, Writing
Do you want to be a fast writer? Do you wonder how some writers manage to put out three, five or even ten books a year? What’s the secret to becoming a prolific writer?
We all have the same 24 hours in the day we simply choose to use them differently. We all have our own commitments, responsibilities and interests. Writing is not always on top of the priority list. Sometimes when the urge hits you just want to put your feet up and forget everything.
If you’re a writer with a full time job, family, friends, and a host of other responsibilities, finding the time to write doesn’t always top the priority list. You might be too tired after a long day in the office. Or maybe your kids are fighting for your attention. Or your husband wants you to cook dinner instead of hide away with your laptop in a dark corner of your home.
Whatever it is, it’s stopping you from becoming the writer you want to be.
Time. It’s a lacking commodity in most of our lives. After you account for sleep, work, eating, showering, commuting, the household chores, socialising and all the other little tasks that take up your day there’s very little time or energy left to do anything else. Writing becomes the last thing on your mind.
The truth is you’ve heard it all before. You need to make the time to write. If you want to be a writer, you have to write, and write everyday.
If you want to have been written. Well that’s another story, and you can keep dreaming while leaving room for all the writers who actually enjoy the act of putting words to paper including the mental strain and physical exhaustion that sometimes comes along with it.
I get most of my writing done on the train. A two-and-a-half hour daily commute to work gives me plenty of time to write. In the past six months I have written two novel drafts and two novellas as well as dozens of articles and blog posts. That’s not too bad given I don’t put in much time writing after work or on weekends. That time is taken up by other activities, mainly spending time with my twenty-two-month old son.
I don’t make excuses. I’ve realised I want to write for a living and I want to write books. That’s my dream and I want to make the dream a reality. Do you?
So how do you get that sort of output or better? It comes down to the following:
Organisation
Planning
Time Management
You need to know how to organise your time as a writer. Figure out what is taking up most of your day and find snippets of time where you can focus on writing. You don’t need massive chunks: there are writers who get novels written in small fifteen minute increments. That doesn’t mean they aren’t working on the story in their head during other times. Organise yourself so that you commit to at least thirty minutes of writing every day.
Look at your diary. List all the things that you have to do in a given week. The list might seem enormous but it doesn’t need to overwhelm you.
Planning is important. If your writing time is limited the last thing you want to be doing when you sit down is having to think about what to write. You want that part already all planned out and ready to go. You moments throughout the day to plan what you’re going to write when your writing session arrives.
You have your list, now spread the tasks out over the seven days. They don’t have to be even. Some days will be more demanding than others. That’s life.
Time management is your friend. The better you can manage your time the better off you will be. Write up an outline for each day of the week. What takes up the majority of your time? Where are you wasting time? Is there anything you can give up? Where are gaps that you can use for your writing?
Consider all the activities on your list every day. How long do they actually take to do? Sure you might have to do the washing, clean the house, pay the bills, meet a friend for coffee and pick up and drop off the kids to school, and make sure everyone is fed and the homework is done. The day is gone before you know it. But maybe you can cluster some activities or start the day with writing.
Where can you fit in the writing?
Put writing as the first thing you do in the morning even if it means losing a half hour of sleep. Prepare your writing materials the night before. Think about what you want to write about as you dose of to sleep. When you wake up the next morning, before doing anything else, go to your writing space and write for an uninterrupted half an hour. At first this may seem difficult but you’ll find that after a week or so, your muse will show up at the designated time.
If you’re a night owl, then swap watching reality tv for writing. On average, people watch about four hours of television per day. Halve your average and you’ll find a decent chunk of writing time every day.
What’s more important- watching The Desperate Real Housewives of New York or getting your novel written?
You’ll find that once you start organising, planning and becoming a pro at time management your writing will improve. Often people assume that in order to write well the process has to be slow and laborious. It doesn’t. But you have to decide whether you want to be a one-hit wonder or a long-term prolific writer earning a living from your books?
I know I’d prefer prolific.
I used to slave away at a piece of writing for hours. It didn’t do me or the writing any good. In fact it stalled my progress as a writer. I’d torture myself for years over one book that would never see the light of day. It was depressing and it would only lead to starving artist syndrome.
Thanks, but no thanks.
The moment it hit me that I didn’t have to write just one book per year; that I could churn out more than 2500 words per day; that I could follow my own plan and schedule, I became free to produce on my own timeline. It was liberating.
Indie publishing has given writers a sense of freedom. We can break the rules that traditional publishers have set and still produce quality work.
You no longer have to produce a 90,000-word novel. You can write three 30,000-word novellas and sell them individually or as a box-set. You don’t have to wait for eighteen months before your book hits the market. You can write it in January, edit and cover design in February and have it out for sale in March.
If you want to be a prolific writer the market is your oyster. You can do anything you want.
Here’s a little caveat for those who think they’ll produce publishing worthy material on a weekly basis. You could, anything is possible. But in order for it to be marketable and attract a readership you’re going to have to hire editors and cover designers, then proofread your work. So don’t sacrifice quality over quantity. Nora Roberts might write a book every forty-five days but she also has a team of editors and designers to do her work and a publisher and a following to take care of her marketing.
The more you write, the more you schedule, the more familiar you’ll be with your output and you will be able to plan accordingly. Over the past twelve months I’ve come to realise that if I write four days per week during my work commute I can get down around 3000 words per day. That’s 12,000 words per week. If I do that seven days per week, then that’s about 21,000 words.
I could write a novel a month or two novellas.
Funnily enough, the faster I write, the tighter my writing becomes and my editing process is much smoother. I still make a long of changes; my husband often asks do I really need to do that, and I always say yes, because you never write the book the first time around. You put down a skeleton, sometimes a lean one sometimes a chunky one. The editing is separating the fat from the muscle to create a story that the writer is happy with and hopefully the reader will enjoy.
I’m going to keep writing faster and increasing my output. With each book I hope to become a better writer. There’s no point in doing this if you don’t seek improvements. I’m in this for the long term so I’m going to organise, plan and manage my time accordingly so that one day, I too can be a prolific writer.
I’ve been writing for twenty years, blogging for eight, and dreaming of making a living as an author as I sit and pen my novels with a view of the beach (I’m actually writing this at a cafe across from the beach, it’s raining but still beautiful) ever since I can remember. I have a goal to publish six books in 2016 (three novellas and three novels). Four were drafted over the past six months which means all I have to do is edit. They are all in a series so adding another two shouldn’t be an issue as I already have my characters and my setting and I’ve almost figured out how the story is going to develop.
For the first time in a long time I am excited that I can be the author I’ve always dreamed of. This will be my business. My only regret is not starting sooner.
How are your organising, planning and managing your time?
Today’s Challenge
* Are you struggling to find the time to write? Take stock of all your activities. How long do you spend on the phone? Internet? Watching tv? Is there anything you can delegate to your family? Make an appointment with yourself and keep it. Start with ten minutes a day. Build it up to whatever works for you. Books, articles and blogs aren’t written overnight. They are the result of constant hard work, a little bit every day will make a significant difference twelve months down the track. (You can do this for any activity you want to start – just make the time!)
* Grab the book that you’re currently working on. What’s your premise? Is it a stand alone? Are you planning a sequel? Prequel? Anything is possible. Just because you’ve killed off a main character doesn’t mean you can’t go back in time and write their earlier stories? It’s up to you. You are the master of the universe you create in your books. Brainstorm a short story, novella, and novel for your idea. That’s three potential pieces you could put on the market. Think about your characters. What will interest your readers? What will strengthen your story?
Leave a comment, I’d love to hear what you’re doing to towards achieving your dream.
by Kasia | Jan 5, 2016 | Business, Motivation, Writing
Each year I set myself a list of goals. I find it odd come January if I don’t have a file on my computer with all the things I want to achieve, generally categorised between writing and personal development, to health and fitness and personal finance.
These goals are often divided into quarters. Then I have another list for monthly goals, weekly ones and daily ones.
Yes, that’s a little OCD when it comes to lists.
What can I say, I love writing lists, and ticking things off once they are complete.
In 2015, my primary goal was to publish my first novel. I did that. Lethal Disposal was published on Amazon in May 2015. This was an amazing feeling. It also taught me a few things that I wish I paid attention to before putting the book to market. The good thing about e-publishing is that it’s editable. But I don’t plan on making the same mistakes with future books.
In my last post, I mentioned my A goal for 2016. It’s a big one and it’s going to take a lot of commitment, time and sacrifice but it will be worth it.2016 is going to a big year. An exciting year. A hard working year.
1. I want to be a healthy writer.
I’m athletic. I run, swim, cycle, and weight train. Since having my son, my training has been sporadic at best. Given that my day job is sedentary and so is my writing, it’s imperative that I fit in daily exercise. Walking to and from the train station just doesn’t cut it.So I’ve started the year with some daily workouts. I want to run more marathons and do a few triathlons throughout the year and they both require a significant amount of training.
Being a writer doesn’t mean junk food, alcohol and staying on your butt. I’ve found that staying fit boosts my creativity. I use this time to plan out scenes, think through plot problems, and brainstorm article ideas.
I want to be a writer for as long as I’m here so that means I need to look after myself every single day. You can check out some ways I stay healthy as a writer here.
Whatever you do, make sure you invest in your health by eating nutritious food and staying active every day. You can still spoil yourself, just do it in moderation.
2. I want to publish six novels/novellas in 2016.
Insane. I know. How is that even possible?
Anything is possible if you believe and are willing to work your butt off. I’m not one to shy away from hard work and so I like to set myself some lofty goals.
At first glance writing six books seems like a stretch. If I was starting from scratch than that would be the case. I spent the last six months of 2015 writing two novels and two novellas. I’m aiming for the following publication schedule:
January – Lethal Instincts, a prequel to Lethal Disposal.(novella)
February – Lethal Aftershock, a sequel to Lethal Disposal (novella)
April – Lethal Attraction (Book 4 in the Lexi Ryder series)
May – Lethal Untitled (Book 5, a novella still to be written)
July – Lethal Games (Book 6 in the Lexi Ryder series)
September – Lethal Untitled (Book 7 in the Lexi Ryder series)
I hope this works out but life sometimes throws unexpected obstacles at us. While I’ll do everything in my power to achieve this goal, even if only manage half of it, it’s still a success, and more than if I didn’t set the goal at all.
3. I want to become a better writer.
Writing has been a passion since I was a kid. I hope it will continue to be one until my grey old days.
I know I can write fast but at the same time I want to write well. The only way to write well is to write more, read more, and learn more.
I’ll be working on improving my writing skills throughout the year, and I’ll share a post on that later this month.
4. I want to read more non-fiction books
In 2015 I read a lot of fiction. I didn’t keep track but I’d say I went through more than fifty books. For some it’s a lot, for others it’s nothing at all.
In 2016, I want to read 26 non-fiction books. That’s one every two weeks. But I don’t want to just read any old non-fiction books. I want to read two books in each of the following categories – business, religion, politics, crime, culture, biography, writing, espionage, travel, science, history, philosophy, and psychology.
Reading is an important part of being a good writer. It’s not enough to read books in your own genre. We need to engage all our senses, question our beliefs, learn new facts, and develop our minds to fuel our creativity. Non-fiction can also provide ideas for future fiction books. It’s a win-win.
I also want to read 26 fiction books. This won’t be too hard. If I really enjoy a book, I can generally get through it within two days.
So that’s a total of 52 books in a year or one book a week. I’ve joined the GoodReads Reading Challenge for 2016.
5. I want to earn $10,000 from my author business in 2016
I wasn’t going to set a monetary goal for my writing as it’s not one that I can control. But I like quantifiable goals and an income goal does just that, it provides me with a quantifier.
Why $10,000? It’s a nice round number and fairly achievable and it would pay for the two holidays I have scheduled for this year. I’m aiming for 50% from book sales, 30% from affiliates on my websites, and 20% from writing services I offer (articles, blog posts, etc).
If your business, website, blog or magazine requires a writer, check out my Hire Me page.
6. I want to become more confident
Success comes in many shapes and sizes but one thing that every success has in common is confidence. There are a lot of successful people out there who aren’t necessarily ‘the best’ at what they do, but they are confident.
To become successful in any arena it’s imperative to believe in yourself, because if you don’t, nobody will either. Confidence is one of my major weak points and it’s something I need to work on continuously.
As a writer, this means opening myself up for more criticism. I like a healthy dose of criticism as long as it’s done respectfully. Unfortunately, the online world has made some people think that they have permission to be rude, aggressive and vulgar towards others. But just because you aren’t sitting face to face doesn’t give you the right to be abusive. Play nice, we’re all in this together. Let’s help each other out, the world has enough hate already.
7. I want a few more things unrelated to writing.
From finishing a half marathon in under 1:45, to spending more quality time with my family and friends, to exploring new places, tasting new restaurants, embarking on unplanned journeys, building a house, learning the ropes in a new job, and being grateful for the all the wonderful little things that we take for granted.
2016 is going to be an awesome year. I’m looking forward to sharing my journey with you, and I look forward to hearing about yours.
What are your goals for 2016? How are you going to achieve them?