I’ve been thinking about judgement a lot lately. Society is a judgmental bunch. We judge people, including ourselves, on a daily basis without any consideration to the pain, discomfort and negativity we are creating.
From the clothes people wear, to the jobs they have, to what they’ve eaten for breakfast or whether they spank their kids, to what books they enjoy reading, or friends they keep. We’re a judgmental sort and it sucks but it’s here to stay.
Everyone judges in one way or another. The difference is how we react to our own judgments and the judgement of others. Studies have shown that our own judgements of others reflect who we really are and that’s both a frightening and comforting revelation at the same time. If you’re in a good mood, you tend to judge others more positively. Having a shitty day? Watch out because some nasty thoughts are just around the corner.
So what does that have to do with writing?
Glad you asked!
Us writers, put our words out into the world hoping readers will love our work. In a perfect world everyone would love everything but that would be boring and it would get tiring. We are born with different tastes, likes, dislikes, preferences. These differences corner us into our judgmental natures without us really being conscious of what we’re doing. That’s natural. Fucked up, but natural.
As a writer not everyone is going to like what you write. As a person, not everyone is going to like you. Do you like everyone you meet? Every book you read? Movie you watch? Clothing you see in the store?
Unlikely.
Or are you one of those annoying people who claim to just loooovvvvee everything?
Our likes and dislikes add to our three dimensional existence. I don’t like celery much. Does that make celery bad? No, just not to my liking. Does celery stop selling because I don’t like it? No, there are millions of others who enjoy it or tolerate it and it stays comfortable in the fresh food aisle of the supermarket for the supports of adding it to everything from salads to stir fries (cringe as I write this). Ok, so a ridiculously stupid example but I assume you get the drift.
Simple.
Get over it.
You don’t need everyone to like you, nor do you need everyone to like your words. Do you think everyone loves EL James – um, no they don’t. But it doesn’t matter because just as many, if not more, love her. How about Oprah Winfrey? She’s an amazing human being, a powerful woman who has achieved so much against many odds. Is the world her fan? Well, sort of. But no, she’s got lovers and haters. It’s inevitable in any industry, even the industry of life.
You are never ever going to please everyone you come in contact with whether directly or indirectly. It’s ridiculous to even bother trying. The harder you aim for perfection, the worse you’re going to feel.
Someone is always going to speak negatively about you, your actions, your words, your behaviour. It’s human nature. You know yin and yang, love and hate, black and white, two sides of one coin. Stop trying to change what isn’t within the realms of your control.
So why do we continue aiming for perfection when it doesn’t exist?
Writer’s block? Maybe you’re trying to impress a too wide audience. Impress yourself first. Then consider your ideal audience. Even then, not all are going to like what you bring to the market. They don’t have too. Are you happy with what you’ve produced? Is it marketable? Is a fraction of your audience going to love it? Then you’re done. Move on.
This doesn’t just relate to writing. It can be applied to most businesses or goals you might have. Aim for perfect and you’ll just burn out, drive yourself nuts, or never achieve your dreams. Perfection may seem attainable but it can more often than not be disastrous.
Remember, you can always improve with time. No one started out with a perfect product or service. Neither will you because perfection isn’t real.
At some point in your career, in your life, in your writing, a nasty person will come along and tell you that you suck. It’s their opinion. They’re entitled to it. Just as you’re entitled to smile, politely say thank you and bid them a good day, even if you think what you’ve created or provided is perfect.
What matters more is how you handle these judgements. Are you going to brush them off? Or are you going to let them get in the way of following your wildest dreams?
The choice is yours.
I’ve been letting people’s judgements, including my own, get in the way of what I want to do, who I want to be, where I want to go. I’ve wasted so many years of my life worrying about what people will think that’s it’s paralysed me and prevented me from being where I want to be. The only person I have to blame is myself.
When you start getting haters in any industry it often means that you’re succeeding. It’s a weird thought that took me a while to get my head around but it’s true. The more successful you are in what you do, the more people you come in contact with. That variety of individuals will include your supporters and your opposers. Which ones are you going to listen to?
The only time you should worry about the haters is if you’re doing something wrong. Are you hurting someone? Are you being nasty? Defamatory? Rude? Obnoxious? Chauvinistic? Then take note and consider a self-improvement course. Otherwise just shake it off.
As an indie author it’s easy to get go into overdrive and work 24/7. The days stretch as you work well past sunset, burning the midnight oil, and giving your family reason to call for help.
Being an independent author is hard work. It’s even harder if you want to sell books and make a living.
I don’t believe in the overnight success story. It doesn’t exist.
We don’t see the gruelling hours, the lost sleep, the tears, the small wins and bigger setbacks that happen before we make it. What does ‘make it’ even mean these days?
Is it to be published? To sell 100 books per month? To earn $100,000 per year from your novels?
Making it, means something different to all of us.
Last year, I would have said publishing my debut novel, Lethal Disposal, was making it. I made it. I officially became an author. I guess that can be classified as a success. After twenty years of dreaming and hiding, I finally took the plunge.
My biggest worry was that I would stop. That once the book was published I’d be over it.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, it depends on your perspective, I want to keep on writing. I want to keep on publishing.
But it’s hard work.
So while it took me twenty years to publish my first novel, I’ve set a goal to publish six in 2016. I want this to be my business and the only way to do that is to write fast, write well, and publish frequently.
The good news is that I found that the faster I write, the better I write. Because I’m writing faster, I’m writing more which leads to improvements. As a writer, you want to continue improving for as long as you write. The moment you think you’ve got nothing to learn, nothing to improve on, is the moment you stop caring and start losing the passion.
Now here’s the bad news. Writing isn’t the only role of the independent author. Not if you want to be successful for the long haul.
You have to be a business person as well. Your books are your business and so you have to put on numerous hats. You are a writer, editor, proofreader, creative designer, logistics director, event coordinator, marketer, cheerleader, accountant – have I missed anyone?
Being an independent author-entrepreneur is hard work. If you’re not up for long hours, sweat, tears, head-scratching-wondering-in-the-middle-of-the-night why the hell you’re doing this? Well, you might want to reconsider what you really want.
Being a successful independent author is not for the faint of heart or for the lazy.
Being successful at anything requires hard work, time, passion, constant motivation when everything around is against you, perseverance and tough skin. If you want it, you will get it done.
Having a team in place can make the author’s life easier. But finding the right team isn’t a simple process. It takes time, trial and elimination.
Just as there are millions of authors out there, the market is also saturated with editors, proofreaders, designers and formatters who want to help you, but at a price. Nothing in life is free and you shouldn’t expect anyone’s service for free, but if you’re spending money you want to get quality service.
Cover Designer
A cover will help sell your book. While we should judge a book by its cover we tend to do it often. What makes a great cover from a mediocre one? It depends on your tastes. Some like simplicity, some business. Some prefer texts on colour, others want pictures to tell a story. You’re never going to please everyone but you want to please your target audience.
I’m happy with the cover designers I have used. I’ve used two and both do an excellent job although one is slightly outside my budget. The other I was surprised that I had to source my own images, but I guess that’s the price of wanting to spend less.
Editing wise, I’m still looking for the one. I’ve used an editor in Australia and a proofreader in the UK. Both at completely different price spectrums.
Finding an editor that meets your budget, has the right experience, and enjoys your genre isn’t easy. Editors are very valuable and necessary for an authors success. But does a higher price put a higher value on an editor? Will the editor you pay $2000 do a better job than the one asking for $500?
Not necessarily.
It’s all about word of mouth and trial and error in self-publishing. Each book is a new lesson learnt.
The process will seem frustrating when you do it the first time, but much easier once the second book roles around, and even easier when you’re on your third. That doesn’t mean the writing or selling gets any easier.
It’s still damn hard work. But if it wasn’t, everyone would be doing it.
You need a cheerleader too. Someone in your life who will push you through the tough moments. It can be a partner, a best friend, a parent. A person who supports you and believes in your dream.
If you have a family, you’re going to need a person to do more than their share of the house chores. Just because you’re at home writing your novel doesn’t mean you’re not working.
I’m fortunate to have three main cheerleaders in my squad and they know who they are. It’s nice to know someone is anticipating my new book and will definitely read it. They also tend to give me feedback that I trust.
Readers
You need readers. Without them, you’re not going to make any money or get any feedback. But finding readers isn’t easy. Nothing seems to be in this field. But it’s not impossible either.
Start with your immediate circle of family or friends. Can you find 20, 50 or 100 potential readers? They might buy your first book. The second time around only half will. By the third, you’ll find that maybe 10-20% of your family and friends will buy the book – you can’t rely on them forever. Hopefully if they’ve enjoyed your book they will pass it on to family and friends of their own.
Word of mouth is a powerful marketing tool.
Then you need to start promoting on social media through word of mouth, anywhere and everywhere you can. It’s hard work but it’s worth it once the sales start trickling in.
Writing itself is a lone activity but there’s a lot going on in the background that requires a team of awesome individuals to make the writer shine. Each one plays their role, each one is a piece of the puzzle in the writer’s life.
The Optional Extras
As you progress in your business you’ll find that you need to outsource some of your activities – unless you’re super pedantic, organised, and a control freak and need to do everything yourself. You might find yourself looking for reliable contractors for website management, accounting, and marketing among other things.
These people can help make or break your business. Be sure to find people that you can rely on. Word of mouth is the best form of advertising. Talk to family and friends. Check out other authors websites. Ask around on social media. Build a team that will help you create an awesome writing business with your books.
Writing itself may be a solitary activity. Once you make the decision to go public and publish, you need to start building your team. Remember, this is your business, your future, your image. Make it the best it can be.
Social media is a foreign language that I’m only slowly learning to grasp. It took me a few years to be comfortable with Facebook, and even now I still have second thoughts at times when I go to post something but I’m getting over it. Twitter, well I only started using it seriously last month. That’s right, I’ve been active on Twitter for about four weeks and I am surprised by the results. I still have a lot to learn but here are five things I’ve learned about Twitter so far.
1 – Twitter is about everyone else
Social media has made us into narcissists. There’s no doubt denying it. We are celebrities in our own little world. We want recognition, we want praise, we want success. There’s nothing wrong with that. A healthy dose of narcissism can be the difference between failure and success. Too much and you start getting on people’s nerves. Twitter isn’t about you, ok maybe a little, but it’s not there for you to scream “BUY MY BOOK!”, “BUY MY GODDAM BOOK ALREADY!”.
What in the world are you supposed to do instead? That question plagued my mind for weeks. What in the world am I going to tweet about? (Yes, tweet is a verb and not just the chirping type) I’m not funny, I”m not cool, and I’m still so inept when it comes to social media.
Turns out I had nothing to worry about at all. ‘Just retweet other posts’ a friend told me. Sounds easy enough. I find something I like, and I retweet.
Easy.
Twitter is about promoting others. The good thing with promoting others is that social karma will come back your way. Someone eventually, if your work is good enough, will promote you too. Retweeting is a good start until you figure out the ropes, then slowly but surely your tweeting confidence shall grow.
2 – Twitter is more effective than Facebook
Facebook has been losing its shit for a while now. You put up a post but it only reaches fifty people? What the? Unless you pay for a page, Facebook seems to hide your stream from your fans. Why is that? It’s all business, isn’t it?
With Twitter, there’s a constant traffic going on. You get your notifications, your tweets and you can see everything that’s going on. It’s also so much easier to get followers. When I started on Twitter four weeks ago, I had 9 followers. Yes, 9. That number made me feel deflated. What was I doing wrong? Four weeks later I’ve reached 300. I’ve been on Facebook for six months and there are 113. What am I doing wrong there?
3 – You can say a lot in 140 characters or less
At first glance 140 characters doesn’t seem like much but it’s enough to get your message across. You can tease your reader with a sentence from your novel. I’ve seen a lot of romance/erotica type teasers on Twitter. Quotes are popular, motivational quotes are great for writers as we often procrastinate, self-criticise and make excuses when the words don’t come. Twitter also teaches us to omit useless words. Write tightly: on Twitter and in your fiction and non-fiction works.
4 – There are a lot of writers out there
Writing is mostly a solitary activity. Having a community to share your thoughts, struggles, hopes, dreams and setbacks, makes being a writer easier and less lonely. Thanks to Twitter I’m finding writers from around the globe who are either in the same boat as I, ten steps ahead or a couple behind. It’s nice to know that we can help one another whether it’d be from a quick tweet, a short message, some moral support, or reaching out for an interview or advice. I’m looking forward to getting to know some of the writers I’ve started following.
5 – You only need 10 minutes a day
Time is of the essence, especially when you’re combining writing with full or part time work, commuting, parenthood, home duties, family and friends and all the other responsibilities that plague our day. Making room for social media may not be at the top of your priority list. It definitely is not on mine. But I’ve found that 10 minutes a day can make all the difference. We can all find 10 minutes. I use my time on the train for writing and social media. It’s a little bit everyday that will make all the difference to your career. And because it’s only 10 minutes it’s structured, focused and not time wasteful. I went from 9 to 300+ followers in four weeks by spending about 10 minutes per day on Twitter. Imagine what might happen in four months?
Twitter is still foreign to me. I still grapple with confidence on what to tweet, what to retweet, who to connect with, who to reach out to, and how much self promotion to do. Balance is key. I won’t be shouting buy my book unless there’s a promotion going on, but I will be reading and observing what others are doing, feeling grateful that there’s a community out there, and hoping that someone somewhere will pick up my book, enjoy it, and be willing to promote it. Until then, I’m going to go back to writing and reading more novels, and yes, tweeting about them too.
Do you use Twitter? What do you love and hate about it? Any words of wisdom?
Last week I had the pleasure of celebrating the launch of my debut novel, Lethal Disposal with family and friends. It was a great opportunity to catch up, talk about my book, and splurge on a yummy meal. I was even surprised by a good friend with a gorgeous cake of my novel! I just wish we took more photos!
Failure is a fact of life. It’s inevitable, unavoidable, even obligatory. Even the best have failed, probably more than once. Failure is a part of success. The more we fail the closer we are to succeeding. Even the overnight success didn’t get there overnight.
Success is a process. It involves hard work, sacrifice and persistence. Whether you fail or succeed depends mostly on you. As someone wiser than I once said, ‘Success is 1% luck and 99% perspiration’.
A writer who wants to make a living writing is a different story. Apart from being a writer, you are also a self promoter, a marketing manager, a businessperson, an entrepreneur, a researcher, a twitterer (is that even a word?), a social media commentator.
A writer who wants to write full time and get paid for it has to be all those things and so much more.
I don’t know about you but I’m terrible at self-promotion. I’m happy to promote other people, vouch for their talents, market them to anyone and everyone I speak to, but doing the same thing for myself? Not a chance.
With the explosion of social media, self promotion should be easy. There are so many avenues from Facebook and Twitter to Linked In and blogging, that self promotion can be done with the click of a button and at no monetary cost.
But self promotion is scary. Social media has made it a scary experience.
You’re putting yourself out there. You’re baring your soul for the world to judge. And oh my goodness, do they judge. They will pick at the tiniest of things. They will destroy you by abusing you for being inadequate because you used ‘effect’ instead of ‘affect’.
They will torment you because you used a semicolon instead of a comma. They will scream at you with capital letters that YOU SHOULDN’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB BECAUSE YOU SUCK! and you won’t because you’ll take it to heart and huddle in a corner with a cheap bottle of wine and a packet of Tim Tams as you swear to yourself you will never, ever, in a million year write another word.
Yes, I might be exaggerating just a little bit but it can and does happen.
The world is full of haters. But the world is full of supporters too. And while it’s easier to focus on the negative, we should really put more emphasis on the positive. I once read somewhere that you’re more likely to dwell on one negative comment even if you’ve received nine positive ones. Ouchie, ouch. That sucks!
We will never please 100% of the crowd. There will always be someone who’s going to put us down. The good news is, there are going to be ten others to lift us up.
Self promotion is an important part of anyone who runs a business, anyone wants to be a well-paid novelist, or is even trying to find a job. If you can’t toot your own horn, reaching a level of success that you deem satisfactory may take a little bit longer than expected or it might not happen at all.
I admire people who have no care in the world and can self-promote endlessly. I wonder if they do it because they love it and it comes easy for them, or they have fine-tuned their techniques and simply do them because they know it’s a necessary evil – fake it till you make it type of thing.
What are your thoughts on self-promotion? Does it come easy for you? Any tips?
