KASIA RADZKA

Romantic Suspense and Thriller Author

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Writing & Parenting: How to find the time

by | Jun 6, 2015 | Writing

Writing SpaceWriting and parenting – combining the two does come with its challenges. Only yesterday I was hoping to meet my writing quota for the day by putting my son in his play area and writing whilst looking over him. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t. Generally he naps for 2-2.5 hours throughout the day but yesterday he thought 1 hour was enough. I beg to differ. One hour is never enough. I need my rest too Master J.

Finding time to write as a parent comes with its own challenges. There are moment where you feel torn between your ambitions and goals for the day and ensuring you give enough cuddle and giggling time, check out those steps he’s mastering, or simply just spending time together – they grow up so fast, I can’t believe mine is 13 months already!

As parents we have an obligation to our children. As writers we have an obligation to our work. It’s a juggling act especially when you also add the roles of wife (or husband) and employee among others.

It is doable. It isn’t easy but whatever is worth doing rarely is. My husband gets up at 4:20am and is out of the house by 5am. This morning I chose to do the same. My son usually sleeps till about 6:30 – 7am so it gives me up to two hours of writing time before our day even begins. It’s still dark outside, my phone tells me it’s 8 C this morning, so I’m making the most of my writing time snuggled under the blankets, and writing in bed. I could get used to this.

Here are some tips that might help in finding a balance between writing and parenting without feeling guilty that one is getting more of your attention than the other. It’s all about setting priorities, boundaries and rules for yourself.

Stop feeling guilty
Becoming a parent is incredible. You are responsible for a human being and you want to nurture them to be the best they can be. But you’re not just a parent. You’re not one dimensional like the bad guys in cheap action movies. You are still your own person with your own goals and desires and you need to make time for you. Seriously, you need your sanity in tact.

Get up an hour or two earlier
This is a common piece of advice to being a more productive writer. If you don’t have enough time or inclination during the day just get up earlier and get it done. Start with fifteen minutes, even if you only write 100 words, or brainstorm an article, or come with a character description or plot point, it’s a hundred more than you had the day before.

Go to bed an hour later
If you’re more of a night owl then write at night. Personally, I can’t do this. I try and fail miserably. By about 9pm my eyes start closing on me and that’s it. But if you prefer the dark hours and staying up is an option. Put the kids to bed, settle comfortably in your writing space and get writing.

Write during nap times
If your child is a sleeper and naps during the day this is the time to get writing (if you have a newborn, this is the time to be catching up on your own sleep!).

Write and play at the same time
If you can write in short bursts and with interruptions you can still write while spending time with your kids. I like to write while hanging out with my son, usually he’s pretty low maintenance and happily plays on his own, and I stop when he wants my attention or is doing something cute or I just want a break or a cuddle.

Brainstorm on the run
Think about what you want to write before you actually sit down to write. This will save you time. Keep a notepad and pen on hand when you’re in the kitchen preparing dinner, hanging out in the doctors waiting area, standing in line, catching the train, on your lunch break, everywhere you go really. Jot down the idea and be ready for your next writing stint.

Get the rest of the family to help out
You are a writer. Whether you get paid for it or not is irrelevant. If you want to write you have to make the time. Talk with your other half about setting a few hours a week in your calendar for writing. This would be a time when your partner or spouse take over the reigns and you disappear into your writing corner for an hour or two without interruption. If you need peace and quiet, send them out to the park for a walk or play.

Use your kids as inspiration
Writing and parenting can go well together. Each day comes with its own challenges, joys, frustrations, achievements and questions. You are a writer, go write about them. Whether it’s for parenting articles or scenes in your novel, you can use the fact that you are a parent to your advantage.

Finding a balance between writing and parenting comes with its own challenges. You need to find a balance and routine that works for you and your family. Listen to the advice but don’t take it as set in stone. Every family, every parent, every child, and every write is different. Find what works for you and you’ll be a happier and more productive writer and parent.

How do you balance writing and parenting?

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